I have had a thought for many years… one that returned again today after dropping $160 on Madame Butterfly tickets for my wife. Why can I not spend money on myself, or allow my wife to spend money on me? I certainly enjoy spending money on other people. If somebody wants something and I have the means to provide it, I typically find joy in these situations. But if it’s for me, I torment myself for weeks over the decision. Is the purchase worthwhile or not? Can I get by without it? Is there something less expensive that can take its place? Why do I even need it in the first place? And this is over necessities. Wants or frivolous expenses are a whole other issue.
For example, I haven’t purchased a pair of shoes for myself in 8 years. The last shoes I purchased were a $12 pair of sneakers from Target. They lasted me one year. Since then I have acquired my shoes second hand from my father. He’s like an uncontrollable woman. If something catches his fancy, he buys it. It doesn’t matter what it is, how much it costs, or if he can even use it. He has a closet full of shoes for all occasions, most of which have only been worn once (the day after he bought them). When I wear mine out, he usually has a pair to offer up that “never really felt right, so I didn’t ever wear them.”
I usually buy my pants at Ross because I can’t stand to spend more than $10. My wife bought the newest pair for me and she got them at Costco. $16 freakin’ dollars! I almost died. How can I wear something so costly? I almost took them back and went to Ross. Actually, I almost took them back without going anywhere else because my old pair isn’t worn out yet. I can’t replace pants until there aren’t enough strings left to hold them on anymore, which means I usually go shopping for new pants naked.
I can’t remember the last time I bought a shirt. I get them all for free from my employer. I don’t think I currently own a shirt that doesn’t have my employer’s logo on it. I wear them everywhere because it’s better than spending money.
Keeping this in mind, I once gave my sister-in-law $500 to help make ends meet when she was looking for a job. I paid (an undisclosed amount) to have another sister-in-law’s car fixed as she was passing through town on her way to school. (Anybody noticing a pattern here?) I bought a pair of brakes for a co-worker’s bike because his were absolute garbage, but he couldn’t replace them. And these examples are dwarfed by the sums of cash invested in my relationship with my wife.
I don’t say these things to boast or aggrandize myself. I don’t feel special in any way. But I wonder why I mentally abuse myself for needing a new shirt that doesn’t contain my employer’s logo, but yet I can drop $160 for Madame Butterfly because I know it will make my wife happy. The car I drive to work is a ’92 Dynasty (the “Dy” fell off the logo on the car, so now it’s just a “nasty”) that I bought for $400. I can’t justify spending any more than that on a car to use as my commuter, but yet I had no problem buying an anniversary 3 stone ring for my wife because I knew she really, really, really wanted it, even though I could have purchased 15 cars for the same amount.
Why am I so lame? What can be done about this? Will I ever be able to purchase the new mountain bike I have been eyeing for 2 years now? Or will I torment myself until I become sick, and have buyer’s remorse for an eternity over any purchase above $20?
3 comments:
I agree with everything you posted (and will be forever grateful for our exhaust system). That's one handsome devil in your profile pic. You should have a similar one of your chickie too. Don't you both pump iron competitively?
Maybe you'd have more clothing if you allowed the rest of us to buy you clothes for birthdays and Christmas. Although the presents would be "lame", you would have a larger wardrobe without having to spend a dime. That's one way of getting around the guilt of spending money on frivolous items, like pants. And who knows, you might even get a non-corporate-logo shirt out of it.
I hear you on not being emotionally able to spend money on small ticket necessities. The expense adds up so quickly. That's where most of my guilt comes from.
We are all grateful for your generosity. I have seen you help out people in need (including myself) time and time again. You set such a good example, and I am grateful that you take such good care of my sister.
I wish we were all so generous...and I am being serious...not sarcastic:) Maybe you need therapy in this issue...usually people need it to stop spending, but you are special. You have always been special.
I love you you and thank you for making comments on my blog. Sorry about my email, I just thought you didn't love me anymore. I will see what I can do about changing it.:)
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